You know how your dream life looks like and you try to change your life and follow your passions, but somehow you end up stuck. Sounds familiar?
Most likely you ran into the trap of making one or more of 5 mistakes that will keep you forever stuck in a life that drains you.
But hey, don’t worry, I made all of them before!
I know how you feel. I’ve been there 3 years ago before Tomer and I decided to quit our jobs and finally start living our dream life. For us, this looked like going on a 1.5 years trip around the world and starting our freedom-based business.
Whether living your dream life means for you to change your career, travel, start working from home, or take a leap into setting up your own business, change doesn’t happen over night.
If you’re ready to become a super attractor of your dream life, then self-awareness is the first step to self growth.
Over the past years, we have been reflecting quite a bit about why some people turn their day dreams into reality, and why others eventually settle for less. (Thanks quarter-life crisis!)
Ready to tackle your mind blocks?
Count how often you say YES to any of the following 5 mistakes.
In the end I’ll share with you what helped us to overcome them and what you can do to finally break free from your sucky job and start living your dreams.
Since you’re here, you might also like:
- 6 Tips to Escape Your 9-to-5 and Live Your Dreams
- How to Quit your Job, Travel the World, and Not Worry about Money
- Stop Trying to Find Your Purpose and Do This Instead
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1. You separate “Work life” and “Personal life”.
This is such a common mistake and yet, you might wonder at first why it made it as first point onto this list? Well, it’s essential!
When you split your life into a work life and a personal life, you are subconsciously saying that these two lives are separate from each other. You set boundaries for yourself on how you show up in both of these essential parts of your life.
Setting boundaries is good in general. Yet, if you notice that you’re almost an entirely different person in your work life as compared to your personal life, you might want to ask yourself:
Am I really living in authenticity with my true self?
While you might have several purposes and priorities, make sure all aspects are aligned with your overall values. Make a list of your values in life and check: Are those values met in all aspects of your life?
In your dream life, you want your work and personal life to be in balance.
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Be unapologetically YOU. The day I (Anastasia) quit my job, I was actually offered a promotion. But it didn’t matter to me. By that time it was no question whether it was the right decision to leave. I knew it was time. Regardless of what others had to say. And they did have things to say: “Are you not worried about your career?” “What about your retirement fund?” “Do you really need another apartment?” “But how much do you make now?” “Don’t you want to apply for another job?” “Aren’t you bored to be on vacation all the time?” “You need to admit to yourself when your experiment failed.” “You can’t wander around all your life. What about kids?” There were good intensions behind the questions and remarks, and yet, they were never really comfortable. We constantly felt like we had to justify our decisions and actions. While it was difficult at first, we learnt to live with the fact that not everybody will understand our choices. And that’s ok. When it comes to choosing a career or path in life, here’s what counts: YOU need to wake up in your shoes every morning. YOU need to feel good about the choices you make. YOU need to know the reasons behind your decisions. We rather have people not understand what we do than not to feel free. That's the price of our freedom. We gladly pay it. One day they’ll understand what our plan was. And even if not, that’s fine too. Are you afraid of being judged about your life choices? By who? What would they say?
2. You define success based on work results.
This used to be so me! I would be a rising star in my corporate job but I would force myself through a 4 hours (!) daily commute that would drain the last bits of my energy and eventually led me to burn out.
You can’t feel fulfilled in your life if you’re a rock star at work but you feel miserable in your relationships, are stressed out as hell, or don’t have a life outside the office.
The tricky problem is that sometimes we don’t realize (or ignore) that we are neglecting important parts of our lives. Ask yourself:
Who do I want to be successful for: For others? Or for myself?
If your answer is for yourself, then focus on being successful in all areas of your life that are important to you. Which part of your life needs more attention? What is a small action you can take today to nurture an aspect of your life that you have been ignoring?
To build your dream life, be intentional about all major components of your life.
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You are not successful… … if you have money but no time. … if you are admired without loving yourself. … if you are a high-achiever about to burn out. … if you have it all but it doesn’t mean anything to you. Simple, isn’t it? Well, it wasn’t that simple for us to realize this. Maybe it took some time for you too? SUCCESS IS PROGRESS IN ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE. Success is growth in how you show up as a person. It’s learning new things. Nurturing relationships. Having fun. WE AIM FOR SUCCESS IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE. Yes, we love working. We even tend to fall into the workaholics section. We have big ambitions and goals. We aim for money. We expect sometimes too much of us. We have trouble switching off. BUT WE ALSO WORK ON BEING SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE. We’re trying to sleep in without feeling guilty. We work out even when we don’t feel like it. We take time for ourselves. We say things that scare us out loud. We occasionally dance in the kitchen. Focusing on not only one but all areas in our lives is success to us. Not living for the perfect resume or LinkedIn profile. But being true to ourselves and LIVING FOR US. What is one thing that you will do today to make yourself feel successful?
3. You act from a place of frustration instead of inspiration.
Whether it’s a vague idea or a very specific vision, you probably have a goal of how your dream life looks like or who you want to become?
Thats’s good, goals are awesome! They keep pushing you forward on the way to your dream job or dream life. But there’s a common pitfall:
Getting frustrated and discouraged when things don’t go as planned. Is that you?
Here is something I want you to remember:
Your goals are reminders of all the great things that are yet to come.
Use them as an inspiration!
At the same time, don’t lose sight of what you already have.
Whenever you feel like you’re not making progress, take a moment to look around. List things that you did achieve! I’m sure you are further now then where you’ve been 6 months ago.
One thing is certain: the road to your dreams won’t be a straight line. There will be times when you feel stuck, or even as if you’re walking backwards. That’s part of the process.
When you’re frustrated, you will easily get discouraged. Practice gratitude for how far you’ve come already to stay motivated and inspired on the journey.
4. You’re waiting for the right timing.
You might have heard this before and it doesn’t matter how long you ignore it.
At some point you will have to surrender and accept that the stars will never fully align.
There is no better time to start than now. And while this might sound like a cliche, it’s the truth. There will always be something that will get into the way to pursuing your goals.
Waiting for the right timing is often an excuse for not knowing how to start. Your goal seems like it’s located on a steep mountain that you have to climb, while you’re even having trouble climbing the 4 steps to your front door. Am I right?
This is a valid fear but it’s no excuse!
Stop waiting for the right timing. Instead, overcome your fear of Starting.
An easy way to start is committing to one tiny task that you want to do every day. This way you will create a momentum, and once the wheel is moving, it’s difficult to stop.
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We are PROUD! … of us and of the 8 incredible people who trusted us with their dreams and grew so much over the last 2 months. Yesterday we officially completed The 9-5 Escape Plan 1.0. You know what’s crazy about this? When we returned to Amsterdam on 1 April in the midst of Covid-19, we didn’t even know that we were going to do this. Within 3 months, we went from idea, to a plan, to a program curriculum, to a launch, through a 7-weeks program – and our students loved it! Here are 3 things that we learnt from this experience: You can do a lot if you put your focus on it! You can turn any challenge into an opportunity! The only way to become confident about something is to DO IT! When we recorded our promotional videos, we were nervous. When we opened for enrollment, we were terrified. The launch days were a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Before the first session, we were about to faint. Every time when opening the call, we had to take a couple of deep breaths. But you know what made it possible to go from nothing to a successful first launch? WE DIDN’T FEEL READY AND WE DID IT ANYWAY! Because you know what? You will never feel ready. That’s with almost anything in life. So, what is something you are terrified to do that could make you super proud?
5. You try to be an expert before you start.
Hello Imposter syndrome! Friend, I’ve been there and let me tell you, this attitude will cost you time and energy and if you don’t get it under control, it will likely kill your ideas before you start executing them.
I’m not trying to make you hate me, but that’s just the truth, and I rather bring it to you than have you spend weeks trying to perfect something, only to throw the towel altogether eventually.
If there is one thing that I learnt as a new entrepreneur and somebody who entirely changed her life around, then it’s this:
Action is always better than perfection.
It’s absolutely normal not to feel confident when you’re new at something.
But remember this: the best way to build confidence is by Doing.
You don’t need to be an expert, you only need to know the next step.
A lot of highlights, but I just want you to understand that this is critical on your way to change your life.
Here’s an example from my life. In the last 3 months, my partner and I brought out a new online program: The 9-5 Escape Plan.
We used to help many people over the last year with advice on how to get their personal finances in check and improve their business ideas, but we didn’t feel ready to take it to the next level. Then, we set ourselves a deadline and that’s where things started rolling. Within 3 months, we went from idea, to a plan, to a program curriculum, to a launch, through a 7-weeks program – and our students loved it!
But you know what made it possible to go from nothing to a successful product launch?
We didn’t feel ready and we did it anyway!
Because you know what? You will never feel ready. That’s with almost anything in life.
So, instead of beating yourself up of why you might not be the biggest expert, think about this:
There are people right now that want to be where you are now.
You don’t need to be an absolute expert to start. You will grow your expertise over time.
Learn how to escape your 9-to-5 and live your dream life!
How many of those did you say YES to?
Don’t worry, we have been guilty of ALL of them. As I said before, self-awareness is the first step to self improvement.
The more important question is: Which of the points 1-5 do you commit to work on?
Commitment is key!
It’s scientifically proven that you will complete a goal with 50% if you create a plan for how you will do it.
You will complete it with a 95% change if you make accountability appointments with somebody.
This is what we do in The 9-5 Escape Plan.
We help you to create a plan to create your dream life that works for you. We walk you through the steps that you need from creating your freedom vision, to defining new income sources, to taking action, and we hold you accountable!
The most effective way to live your dreams is by creating freedom and time!
We teach you everything you need to stop trading your time for money. Instead you will learn to automate your income. This way you can choose what you do with your time.
Sign up to the wait list to learn more about The 9-5 Escape Plan and get an update when we will be open again for enrollment.